Sigh of... relief?

First, I want to thank everyone who posted comments. I am horrible about answering them but I want to say that I do appreciate all of them. It's good to hear feed back and get helpful insight from those of you out there who may have been in the same situation or are there right now.

TJ and I had our conversation last night. It was pretty short and he was really glad that I came to him with it before I got myself all worked up (see..he doesn't pop on here LOL). For now he said he's not really going "There" with our relationship. Although, we both find aspects of that kind of submission seriously appealing in the bedroom to live it full force all day every day is not something he's all that interested in. "right now" (he did emphasize that phrase a few times during our discussion).

So after our 'chat' he went off to play his war games and I went about my evening. At first I was pretty relieved. Like I said in yesterday's post..I really wasn't sure if I wanted anything sex related to jump in on our DD journey. It's taken so long for us to get to the point that we are at I was really afraid that adding something of that caliber to it would just overwhelm us and we'd throw in the towel again. And I really did not/ do not want that to happen. So first I was like "Whew!"..... at first...

I'll be honest here. The idea of him looking in our closet and saying "Wear the blue sweater today," sends chills down my spine. Now do I want this to occur every time I get dressed, no, probably not. However, for him to take the time to look through my clothes and have a preference to what I wear? Again, shivers. And then wearing those clothes all day and knowing that he wanted me to, that told me to. It would feel like he was hugging me all day long! Or...to go even deeper into my fantasy world... for him to go shopping with me and to simply pick the clothes he liked best on me.. Oh to dream!

Now, I'm not that simple minded to think that picking out my clothes is what D/s is all about. I know there's way more to it then that. River said it best I think "...give every part of my body, mind and soul, my very essence, over to Nick." That's exactly what I would be doing. When we got married I think we kind of did that, though. To a certain degree. I for one have never told TJ "NO" when it came to sex. Never.. (well maybe once when I was pregnant but I don't count that) I always figured, I'm his wife, if he wants it why not. (And...I would never turn down sex cause well..ok again another post LOL) I consider my body, well.. his. And in my fantasy world... he does plenty to and with it. *blush*

For now, though, we are keeping that aspect behind closed doors, when the moon is full, and the children are away.... I'm ok with this because I'm really enjoying this ride and I'm just going to wait and see where it takes us. So far it's taken us to much better communication and a love that goes deeper then words can describe so I can't imagine it taking us anywhere but even better places! The ride is just getting started, though, I think.

Dante d'Amore - TJ would probably fall to the floor laughing if I were to ever call him "Master" and even calling him "Sir" during a spanking makes me feel a bit weird. Something I think, though, I would like to over come if it is something he wants from me. He hasn't pushed the "Sir" thing in a while during a spanking, though.. I wonder if he's given up on it or if it just doesn't interest him anymore....

AG - You said: "I think that as a man that would be a very comfortable word for him perhaps from a sports or athletic point of view" And I think you were completely right. He said that when he mentioned "training" he didn't really mean it the way I saw it but more of just..well...training in the sense you mentioned there. So he was glad (as was I) to have that cleared up.

River - Just don't forget, it's okay to say 'not yet', instead of 'that's not okay' I think this exactly what we did.. we just agreed that now wasn't the right time to move in that direction.

Beki - Just remember,"training" is only a word. So true! Sometimes I take things very literally and it's a good reminder that sometimes a word simply means what it means and there is no hidden meaning behind it. :-)

The destination is not what matters, it's the journey getting there that holds all of the interest!