The weekend

I never posted what happened during our camping weekend! Well...let's rectify that!

The bad.
1) Our camp spot was on an incline which gave me vertigo and made sleeping and relaxing a bit difficult until TJ and I were able to find a way to make the airmatress level enough to keep the motion feeling at a minimum.

2) The only real flushing toilets were a bit of a walk away from us so I had to deal with pit toilets (which are vile).

3) I got my period a few days early and exactly one day into our trip.

4) I got myself into a bit of trouble right before we left. Apparently TJ ran out of gas driving home from dropping our dog off at the inlaws for our trip the night before we left...and somehow it was my fault cos I didn't have the quarter tank of gas in the van like I'm supposed to. (But I still maintain that it's not my fault that he didn't look at the tank before he got on the express way......i'm just sayin)


The good.

1) TJ let us play in the main dungeon this year and we both have come to love the St. Andrews cross.

2) TJ realized he doesn't have enough toys and wants to expand his toy bag to include a flogger (which I agree with) but he also still insists on a cane.

3) We went to a caning demonstration and TJ learned a few things that make me feel a bit more comfortable letting him try one on me.

4) There was a human food tray at the D/s formal that we attended one evening and I was able to lick and suck a woman's breast for the first time. I have been wanting to do that for a long time and I have to say I enjoyed it as much as I thought I would.

5) There were miles and miles of trails in the woods surrounding the camp ground that TJ and I took advantage of. We love to hike so that was relaxing and fun.... and being bent over a tree trunk and being used....that was absolutely wonderful.

6) Although the punishment for the gas thing sucked....if it hadn't been a punishment it woulda been pretty awesome. TJ walked me into the woods, tied my hands over my head to a tree limb, he pulled down my pants and whipped me until he was sure I was contrite. On the way back to camp we were all snuggles and I asked him if I could finally have an orgasm since the punishment was over. He thought I meant right that moment and granted my request. He found another tree for me lean against and told me to go ahead. I slid my hand into my jeans and began to play while he lifted my shirt and began to play with my breasts. He kept his eyes locked with mine as he twisted, pulled, and licked my nipples. When finally gave me permission, he covered my mouth to muffle my scream of pleasure as the immense wave crashed into me and the intensity of his stare, the pressure of his fingers over my mouth, and the heat in my nipple all pushed me over the edge. After it was all finished I was shaking and tears filled my eyes which I think completely confused him but he held me until I was able to straighten myself up and walk back to camp on my own.

7) TJ did more breast play with me than he ever has before and it was absolutely awesome.


I'm still hopeful that at some point our marriage will head down the road I want it to but for now I will be happy just to have him in my life and willing to spend weekends like that with me.

Clothes pins!

I have no idea why but I saw a 24 pack on sale at the store today and I picked them up and threw them in the cart. For drying clothes perhaps? Nope...don't have a clothes line. For arts and crafts with the kids? Possibly...that would make a good cover I suppose. But when I picked them up those were not things on my mind. The things on my mind were dirty, dark, and totally embarrassing were I to verbalize them.

This started when our oldest daughter brought home a craft from school with two of the wooden pins attached. I sent a flirtatious text: Any ideas what to do with those two clothes pins now that she destroyed the craft?
What I got in return: Stop it. Those are H's.

A few hours later I glance at the clearance table at the local store and there they are sitting. A package wrapped in plastic wrap with a large picture of a wooden clothes pin. $0.90 Unable to pass up a sale... I pick them up, toss them in the cart and continue on. Here's the really strange thing. I've only 'played' with such items once in my life and it was many many years ago and it was really just trying them out (you know..put one on see what its like, scream and throw them all away and curse yourself for the fool you are) So now I have the little buggers and they are staring me in face.

Will I tell Tj I bought them or will I hide them away in my drawer where a few other dark secrets are kept? If I show him will he laugh me off or will he raise his delicious eyebrow in that way that makes me shiver and beckon me into his office?

Sigh of... relief?

First, I want to thank everyone who posted comments. I am horrible about answering them but I want to say that I do appreciate all of them. It's good to hear feed back and get helpful insight from those of you out there who may have been in the same situation or are there right now.

TJ and I had our conversation last night. It was pretty short and he was really glad that I came to him with it before I got myself all worked up (see..he doesn't pop on here LOL). For now he said he's not really going "There" with our relationship. Although, we both find aspects of that kind of submission seriously appealing in the bedroom to live it full force all day every day is not something he's all that interested in. "right now" (he did emphasize that phrase a few times during our discussion).

So after our 'chat' he went off to play his war games and I went about my evening. At first I was pretty relieved. Like I said in yesterday's post..I really wasn't sure if I wanted anything sex related to jump in on our DD journey. It's taken so long for us to get to the point that we are at I was really afraid that adding something of that caliber to it would just overwhelm us and we'd throw in the towel again. And I really did not/ do not want that to happen. So first I was like "Whew!"..... at first...

I'll be honest here. The idea of him looking in our closet and saying "Wear the blue sweater today," sends chills down my spine. Now do I want this to occur every time I get dressed, no, probably not. However, for him to take the time to look through my clothes and have a preference to what I wear? Again, shivers. And then wearing those clothes all day and knowing that he wanted me to, that told me to. It would feel like he was hugging me all day long! Or...to go even deeper into my fantasy world... for him to go shopping with me and to simply pick the clothes he liked best on me.. Oh to dream!

Now, I'm not that simple minded to think that picking out my clothes is what D/s is all about. I know there's way more to it then that. River said it best I think "...give every part of my body, mind and soul, my very essence, over to Nick." That's exactly what I would be doing. When we got married I think we kind of did that, though. To a certain degree. I for one have never told TJ "NO" when it came to sex. Never.. (well maybe once when I was pregnant but I don't count that) I always figured, I'm his wife, if he wants it why not. (And...I would never turn down sex cause well..ok again another post LOL) I consider my body, well.. his. And in my fantasy world... he does plenty to and with it. *blush*

For now, though, we are keeping that aspect behind closed doors, when the moon is full, and the children are away.... I'm ok with this because I'm really enjoying this ride and I'm just going to wait and see where it takes us. So far it's taken us to much better communication and a love that goes deeper then words can describe so I can't imagine it taking us anywhere but even better places! The ride is just getting started, though, I think.

Dante d'Amore - TJ would probably fall to the floor laughing if I were to ever call him "Master" and even calling him "Sir" during a spanking makes me feel a bit weird. Something I think, though, I would like to over come if it is something he wants from me. He hasn't pushed the "Sir" thing in a while during a spanking, though.. I wonder if he's given up on it or if it just doesn't interest him anymore....

AG - You said: "I think that as a man that would be a very comfortable word for him perhaps from a sports or athletic point of view" And I think you were completely right. He said that when he mentioned "training" he didn't really mean it the way I saw it but more of just..well...training in the sense you mentioned there. So he was glad (as was I) to have that cleared up.

River - Just don't forget, it's okay to say 'not yet', instead of 'that's not okay' I think this exactly what we did.. we just agreed that now wasn't the right time to move in that direction.

Beki - Just remember,"training" is only a word. So true! Sometimes I take things very literally and it's a good reminder that sometimes a word simply means what it means and there is no hidden meaning behind it. :-)

The destination is not what matters, it's the journey getting there that holds all of the interest!