It's ok to not need it

Yesterday, something odd happened to me. I woke up all tense and stressed out. TJ had "forgotten" a spanking the night before and I was feeling a little upset. I knew that it had nothing to do with him forgetting me or that he wasn't on board with all of this, because he has really shown that he is totally on board. Plus, I didn't really want the spanking because...well...it was going to be a punishment for giving him a bit of a chewing out that morning and I didn't feel much like being punished. So I didn't say anything to remind him. Overall, not getting that spanking didn't bother me too much, at least not like it would have about a month or so ago.

So when I woke up with some tension yesterday I wasn't really sure why. Maybe I didn't sleep well. Maybe having to go to work for yet another day didn't sit well with me. Maybe I didn't want that spanking but felt I needed it? Whatever the reason..I was stressed.

I talked with TJ and he admitted to having completely forgotten the spanking because the day had gone so well after the morning tiff that he had forgotten all about it. He asked why I didn't remind him and I admitted I didn't really want that spanking anyway. He just chuckled and we let it go.

Then I sent him a text later on that maybe I needed a stress relief. I have been working a lot more these days and my stress level seems to be rising. He agreed. No problem.

I went to work, came home, ate dinner, put the kids to bed, and hopped on the computer. I was chatting with a friend for a while and TJ came out of his computer room and suggested I get to wrapping it up since I had work in the morning. (dontcha just love working Saturdays!) I realized it was late and logged off.

He was waiting for me in the living room and said we needed to have our "talk". I asked for what since I hadn't done anything. He reminded me that I had asked him for a stress relief.

"Oooh. Yeah. I don't need that anymore. I'm ok, now," I said and he looked at me suspiciously.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I'm good. I'm heading up," and I went upstairs, changed and got into bed. A few mintues later he followed me and asked what I was doing. I shrugged. "I said I'm ok.."
"YOu are sure...really?" he asked, with some concern in his voice (he's cute like that)
"Yeah, I feel fine now. Do you think I need one, though?"
"No, you've been good and I leave the matinence stuff up to you, so if you're sure.."
"Yeah, I'm good" and that was it...he tucked me in..kissed me and left me to sleep.

It's just very odd for me to turn down a spanking. I was completely ok with not getting a spanking right before bed. (I do sleep really good after one, though). It didn't bug me at all. I think I suprised TJ, too.

But I was thinking about it today. It's ok to not need a spanking or even to want one. I think we've reached a place where if it's warranted and needed..it's there. And if it's not...it's ok to have it sitting on the shelf staring at us until we are ready again.