EVIL! That is what that damn thing is, absolutely evil. Disguised as a harmless tool for the handyman, it is a horrible beast of an implement for the handyhusband! I had heard of these things being used for spanking and I ignored it. I knew TJ had a few of them in the garage, I had bought them for christmas one year, to be used as actual tools- I never dreamed of having that rubber strap across my bare bottom. When I had heard of people actually using it for spanking purposes I filed the knowledge in the "Never tell TJ" folder. TJ cleaned out the garage last week and found the little buggars. He was sitting in his computer room one evening holding one when I walked into the room. He had an evil look in his eye just as I saw a light bulb turn on over his head. "What?" I asked him cautiously, eyeing the toy in his hand. "I was just thinking something," he smiled a devils grin and lightly tapped the strap against his open palm. "No...no...don't tell me," "What? That this is going to be great to spank you with?" the man actually laughed at his own wit. I rolled my eyes and left the room, a little panicked I will admit.Then last night it happened. The stress of the holiday shopping, working full time again, cleaning for cookie making today, and the regular stress of having three toddlers caught up to me and when he asked me to do a simple thing for him I snapped. Right before bed he told me to turn all the lights off in the living room and wait for him. I was waiting for him next to the couch and when he walked in with nohting in hand I thought "Thank god, a hand spanking!" It was not to be. He pulled that strap wrench out of his back pocket and plopped down in the middle of the couch. He explained that my attitude was unacceptable and told me to lay across his lap. I nearly cried just at the sight of the damnable thing. He pulled my sweat pants down around my thighs and began to spank with his hand. His hand is nearly as sharp as some implements he uses but I knew it was only the warm up so I tried to bear down and get through it. When the first blow of that strap landed I nearly catapulted myself through the wall that the couch is pushed against and into the neighbors house. I last about 5 strokes and was begging for him to use something else, which he would not. "Not so much of an attitude now, huh?" he said as he continued. I wiggled and he held on tighter to me. I was trying really hard not to scream, for fear of waking the children upstairs. Finally, after about 15 (maybe) strokes of the stinging beast I wiggled my way off his lap and sat on the floor trying to catch my breath. "What are you doing?" he demanded to know. I didn't answer him. I couldn't. He asked two more times before he sighed heavily and sent me to bed. When he finally came up to say goodnight I asked him if I could finish it. "No, we are done for tonight,"This morning when we talked briefly he said that there will not be a re-do but he is definitely doing "something" tonight. What does that mean? Maybe if I had been able to scream out I could have handled it better? Or if I was in a better frame of mind? I don't know...but we will see what happens tonight....
I have been having trouble in an area of our bedroom activities and TJ thought to help me with it. His help was simple denial for one week. That denial ends tonight and TJ has promised that all of my waiting will be well rewarded.
Problem: Last night he tucked me in bed at 10:15....I had a book in my hand and he gave me a lopsided grin and asked if I planned to read. I nodded yes and mustered up the most adorable pleading smile I could...it worked. "Fifteen minutes then lights out," he kissed me and headed out of the room. I turned out the lights at 11:59.. if you did the math right you will see I was 1.5 hrs late. I had to finish the book...and really he should know this about me.
When I was younger I'd stay up until dawn finishing a book and then get about 2 hrs sleep before getting up for school. My father, who worked nights, would come home around 3 am and check on me in my room (cos he saw my light on from the street) "Just a few more minutes then put it away," he'd say. I'd nod, say good night...and finish the book (Do you see the pattern? It's not my fault really)
This morning I woke up cranky as all get out. I ended up snapping at one of the kids and TJ asked me what was wrong. I was near to tears. I had disobeyed him and was sure he'd cancel tonight's activities. I decided to come clean and I told him that I had gone to bed only a few minutes before he had come to bed.
"We'll talk about it tonight," he said. I asked to be let off since I didn't mean to disobey..but I had to finish the book. "You disobeyed me, no, I can't let it go,"
I was worried he'd cancel the fun stuff and he assured me that as long as I didn't do anything else during the day there wouldn't be any cancellation. We'd deal with last night then move on to the fun things.
Next problem: How do you do that? I tried explaining that I can't switch from punishment to fun time that easily. That I was looking forward to a fun spanking and now it would be a bad one (which he agreed that it would be bad) I asked if I could just write him an essay and he laughed.
So there it is. I suggested we handle the punishment right when I get home from work (before we watch our Tuesday show) then we could have fun time afterwards. He said "You get home right before Sons starts," to which I replied "It wasn't that bad of an infraction...do it during a commercial" and was rewarded with another chuckle.
Here's hoping I get through the day without any more trouble!
Yesterday I did something I normally don't do. I blantantly disobeyed TJ. It was completely premeditated disobedience.
It doesn't really matter what the situation was but I'll give a brief background to it. The girls asked if they could get a nail polish (since I was going to be getting one for myself) and TJ said NO. He was adamant about it and I just rolled my eyes at him. The girls just want to play dress up, no big deal, but to him it is/was and he said no. Well....I bought it anyway.
He was none too pleased, I will tell you that. Luckily for me I had a night out planned that gave him plenty of time to cool off. Which he did...but he did not forget.
Before I went to bed last night he told me to "pick something out for tonight...and I highly recommend nothing feather-like," I just stared at him and pretended confusion. "For your punishment..go."
I picked out the wooden paddle and a hair brush (for the warm up...) anyway... I sat in the living room waiting for him as instructed and he told me we were going to do something different.
I was in control of the spanking. I was to tell him what to use, how hard to use it and how long to use it. The only thing he was going to tell me was to bend over. (This was after the lecture on being obedient..and how I directly disobeyed him...)
I bent over the arm of the couch and he used the hairbrush and started out real soft and didn't go harder until I told him to. This continued through the entire spanking. He did "suggest" that perhaps I deserved more, at times. "Just the brush, you don't think you deserve that paddle?" and then we switched the paddle and same thing..soft and only increased when I asked him. At one point I needed to take a break for a second and he wouldn't start again until I asked him to.
He didn't let me go easy either, when he thought he'd spent enough time on one intensity he would ask "This is what you think you deserve for disobeying me?" and I knew that he didn't think so.. so I'd up the intensity. By the end of it my bottom stung plenty. (I could have gone much longer but I think he was getting tired...and the point had been made already no need for overkill)
The spanking was hard...just as hard as any other spanking but because I was in control of it I was able to take it with more grace then ever...isn't that odd? Usually that paddle has me jumping all over.. I did explain to him that I was trying to go soft - hard because if you jump to hard I can't stay still for anything in the world...so he did get that..but I don't know, it was odd. I could have literally taken a spanking 2 x as long at that strength but I won't be telling him that. (he'll really think I'm nuts) And it's not about the severity of the spanking I guess...more if the point has been made.
I have a spanking coming tonight....I think...because I accidentally forgot to return a DVD to the library which has now accrued about $16 of late fees. I'm absolutely horrible about returning things on time and when I had started to borrow movies from the library TJ made it clear they were to be on time every time. But I'm completely digressing.... back to my thinking..
So...I was thinking. TJ has been doing a lot of spanking with me bent over the arm of the couch. I don't really care for that because it's a bit more impersonal then I would like. I want to feel him, his thighs beneath my stomach, his hand laying gently on the small of my back. A connection of sorts. So, I was contemplating this and thinking about what I think a thorough spanking/punishment would be...in the perfect world.
First, the announcement that the time has come. "Turn the TV off, make sure the room is picked up," while he does his ritual of closing all of the blinds and turning down the lights.
Second, setting mind set. This is really important, at least for me, if he just starts spanking away and my mind isn't "there" then it's really a waste of time for both of us for a few reasons. 1. I'm gonna say whatever I think he wants to hear in order for the spanking to end weither I mean it or not. and/or 2. I'm just going to get pissed about the whole thing instead of dealing with the issue at hand. and/or 3. I will have no real idea what he's really spanking for.
Idealy I picture: Him sitting on the couch and he has me standing in front of him (or standing in the corner while he talks to me..) .. he tells me straight out what he's upset about and why I'm going to be punished.
Thirdly, a warm up. I dont' mean a few strokes of an implement. I mean a full warm up. Of course talking is welcomed at this point because I don't want to feel isolated and alone...that doesn't really convey a loving spanking experience (even though it's discipline...it is still part of loving)
Depending on how long the spanking is...perhaps a small break to gather my thoughts. But I think before the finale (let's face it...spankings really are a play with 3 acts...) a break would be good to re-iterate what has happened, how it's going to change, and what I've learned..this could just be a few second interlude or a few minutes in the corner...and then the finale. (which really sucks cos he's really harsh at the end)
Afterwards, love. Sometimes, I'm not ready for hugs and kisses. Sometimes I'm a bit stiff and bent out of shape at myself and need a few minutes to myself before I can let him hug me. I think in those instances...a few minutes of corner time or just sitting alone might help me get myself together and let him give me the hugs and kisses I need.
...so that's what I was thinking about today while I was running around like a crazy woman at work....and they kept asking how I could be smiling amidst all the craziness of the day... WEG.
After yet another slam of yet another drawer in the kitchen TJ said to me from the living room. "Stop slamming stuff, already!" to which I replied "OH, shuuut up!" (for the third or fourth time for the day) I don't believe I have ever seen that man jump up from the floor so fast before.
He darted into the kitchen stood right next to me, so I wouldn't escape I think, and said to the kids "Girls, go upstairs NOW!" ...of course they wanted to know why they had to stop watching thier cartoon and be banished to their rooms. He just glared at me and said "Come with me," and 'escorted' me to his room and told the girls to stay out and shut the door behind him.
I stood against the wall and tried to tell him that the girls were going to hear it if he did anything, but he already knew that. He said to me in his angry voice. "Don't you ever tell me to shut up! I'm sick of your attitude today! The only reason you're not getting it right now is because the girls are behind that door! But tonight your getting it!" and with that he opened the door and my two little girls ran away giggling.
Luckily, they are young and don't understand what he was talking about but they knew enough to know Mommy had gotten in trouble. That doesn't really bother me since at some point they will most likely find out about our marriage. But, I am thankful that they didn't go up stairs becuase he was really mad and that spanking would have been bad.
As for tonight...well....he's upstairs soaking in the tub. I suggested that I hit the sack (a little test of the memory waters) and he said if I was tired, sure go ahead. So....I think enough time has passed that he has forgotten it all. I am somewhat relieved about that.. becuase really I don't think I have the energy for a punishment tonight.
So, thanks kids..for not listening...as usual! LOL
I've been away from posting for a bit because life has just gotten away from me again. The entire family was down with the stomach flu over the weekend and just when the kids were getting over it, I caught it. Lucky me! And on my Birthday to make it even more insulting!
I've also been back to work full time covering for someone who's on leave so I've had next to no time to blog or do much else. (But I have found time to get myself in trouble lol) I've been working on a story that I'm hoping to have up on lulu by the end of February. This one will be available in paperback or as an e-book. Providing I keep up with my writing, which I've actually been able to do so there's hope for me yet.
Just when I thought that TJ could never suprise me with anything DD related, he threw me a curve ball last night. Usually, I know if I've earned myself a spanking. A lot of those times I think I've earned something and he's oblivious, so last night was a bit of a shock.
I had worked late last night and had stopped off to pick up some odds and ends for the house on the way home. As I was perusing the store I ran across a work out video that had been suggested and it was only about 14 bucks so I quickly pulled out my cell to ask TJ if I could buy it. For some reason the call to his cell wasn't working so I called the house (which I try to avoid at night because I know the baby is probably asleep in the living room and I don't want to wake a sleeping baby!). He agreed to let me buy it with the promise that I actually use it, then went on to tell me to call his cell at night yadda yadda. I tried to explain about the signal but he started saying something and I was annoyed so I said "Ok, whatever, goodbye" and I hung up. A few moments later I got this text:
"Ok, no video"
My reply: "Why?"
His: "Don't ever hang up on me"
Me: "I said bye"
His: You know what you did, don't try to play it off
Me: "Fine"
....so the video was not purchased.
Later on I asked him when I could buy the video and his response was "When you learn proper phone etiquette" (Which if you read carefully, I did say goodbye, but apparently I'm supposed to wait for his goodbye before hanging up...) I tried to explain my point on the matter and he said "Do we really need to discuss this?" and I said "No" and it was dropped.
I spent the rest of my evening chatting with online friends then told him I was heading to bed. He told to wait a minute, he had to "talk" to me. I was completely caught off guard. He took me into the kitchen and told me to put my hands flat on the counter top and keep my feet flat on the floor. I kept asking him why but he said "Do as I tell you," I finally complied because he had that look in his eyes that told me that it was best not to argue anymore. He picked up the wooden back scratcher that was on the counter and I asked again what I was in trouble for.
He lectured me about hanging up on him, about disrespect, and about my attitude. He emphasised that he felt that he'd been too lenient and now he was really going to be strict. And I think the man actually means it. This is the third spanking I've gotten in the past few weeks because of my "attitude".
I had already changed into my nightgown and I had on his oversized hooded sweatshirt so my bottom was covered, but he went and picked those up and pushed them over my hips so they would stay out of his way. Now, I've been wanting a new implement.... A crop, a strap, something but NEVER do I want to see that back scratcher again.
It doesn't look that severe, but its thin and that STINGS. I've never been caned but I have to assume it feels similar to this thing. He of course used the backside of it, not wanting to actually hurt me, but it was horrid. At least to me, especially since there was no warm up.
I danced around quite a bit, which is why I HATE the stand up position. He just kept telling me to put my hands back on the counter top. All in all the spanking lasted about 7 minutes and a lot of that was me hissing and jumping around. I think that the fact that he did it all on his own, his idea, no prompting from me whatsoever really made more of an impact. I am trying to watch my attitude but I think this is probably the biggest hurdle I have.
I of course promised to try harder, which I will, not just because I'd like to avoid another meeting with that damn scratcher but because I don't want to dissappoint him or myself. I can do this and thankfully he's so damn loving about the whole thing even when I mess up I know he loves me.
I wonder what he meant though when he commented about "making up for lost time" ...
I boasted too soon about not having a spanking all year! Well, I had mentioned to TJ that I hadn't and of course he felt the need to change that. So that night he had given me a reminder spanking. Simple, over his lap with his hand. Enough to warm my bottom for a bit and for me to feel loved. It wasn't harsh or anything and there was no real point except to give me a spanking. It was wonderful. I slept like a baby and felt happy and loved!
Then yesterday I had earned myself a punishment. I felt really really bad about what I had done because it could have caused him a lot of trouble at work. (I had not put any gas in his car..after using it for a few days and he was late to work for a big meeting because he had to stop to get some. This is a specific rule he had set and I flat out broke it)
The spanking wasn't that horrible. I was already very sorry because of the trouble I caused him so he had gone pretty easy on me. He used his belt and his hand and my bottom was completely warm and red afterwards. He did a lot of snuggling with me while I cried; because I felt badly not becuase the spanking hurt.
What I found odd is that I was still felt very upset with myself over what I had done. He had made several comments during the spanking. One of which was "I'm an easy guy to please and live with". That is so true! He doesn't set many rules, in fact there are only 2 "rules". He also said that when I disobey his rules it makes him feel like I don't think he's important enough to listen to. His words really hit me deep in my mind.
He is very loving and he wants to keep me safe. I've asked for this lifestyle and yet I still find it hard to follow his "Rules". I felt horrible even after the spanking and still feel a bit guilty today. He's told me that it's been dealt with and that its' over. He didn't get into trouble (he had been very lucky) and that everything was ok.
I wonder if he hadn't gone so easy on me if I wouldn't have felt any guilt once it was all over. I cried A LOT after the spanking and he held me while I blubbered all over his chest.
When he tucked me in he wanted a little "nook nook". Actually...what he said was "You could butter my toast, if you want..." with an evil grin (Thanks Spanky for that phrase by the way)
I giggled and we kissed a bit but that was it. I explained that mentally I wasn't ready for anything physical like that and he was completly understanding.
I have the best husband in the world! Even though he knew I was sorry he didn't let that stop him from dishing out the punishment I had earned. He also gave me all the love I needed afterwards without expecting anything in return.
Yes, I'm a very lucky woman indeed!
I just commented the other day to TJ that I've been really good, hadn't earned myself a punishment in weeks! As I'm sure you've figured out by the title of this post, I had spoken too soon. I would like to say that I had at least done something exciting to get myself into trouble, but that would be lying. It was my mouth...it always does me in.
Yesterday, like any other day I got up around 4 am(ish), fed the baby (who had already woken me up during the night), dressed and went to the gym. I got in a good workout, picked up my coffee on the way home and got home just as the house was waking up. TJ went off to work and I looked at my kids wondering what to do next. We played, we did our letters/numbers, we decorated for Christmas a little bit and had a good lunch. Then nap time came. Nap time in my house is like WWIII. There is screaming, whining, yelling, throwing of toys, and then there's crying (done most of the time by me...the crying not the throwing of the toys) and eventually defeat is conceded (again by me).
By the time TJ got home I was beyond exhausted. We ate dinner and the he headed upstairs for his nightly "soak" (a nice hot bath) I got the kids into the livingroom and we were watching some Christmas show on TV. When TJ came down stairs he offered to give the girls their bath and I was more then happy to let him. While he was doing that I fed the baby. The baby fell asleep right away as usual during his "dinner" and I kind of drifted off too. When TJ came down with the girls he had an armful of clothes. I tried to explain to him that I had a load of laundry I was going to do and was just waiting for his pants (cos he was wearing them so I had to wait until he got home to do it) but he wasn't getting what I was saying. "Just don't do anything!" I finally blurted out. He gave me a "look" and dropped the clothes right where he was standing and left the room.
I put the baby in his crib and took the girls upstairs to bed with TJ. When we got back down I was again trying to explain to him what I was doing but he wasn't listening (at least that's how I saw it). He said "Look...I just need clothes. I haven't had clean socks in 3 days" (which is not true..it's only been one lol) my response: "Fuck you! Fuck YOU! FUCK YOU!" and I walked out of the room and went back to watching TV (which I rarely do but like I said I was exhausted)
A few minutes later he came out into the living room with some chips and sat next to me. When he didn't say anything I said "Are you going to apologize now?"
A glare was his response and then "Are you going to?"
Me: For what? I'm allowed to be angry with you
Him: No, not like that you aren't
Me: When you are being an ass...I'm allowed to be mad
Him: We'll talk about this after you put the boy upstairs (he loves calling him 'the boy'...I don't know why)
Me; Whatever
Fast forward 10 minutes. TJ was in the computer room smoking and went in to talk to him.
Me: Look you weren't listening to what I was saying. And I DO get to be mad
Him: I said we'd talk later
Me: I don't want to ruin the whole night. Just talk to me now
Him: Fine. Yes, you can be mad at me. But you DO NOT get to talk to me like that. You don't swear at me and you don't yell at me
Me: Ok. fine. and I turned to leave the room just as he pulled out the paddle that I despise.
Him: Turn around and put your hands on the wall
[side note: I HATE that position. HATE it. It feel way to impersonal and I can't keep still when he spanks like that, I dance around and then he gets pissed and adds more to the spanking]
Me: No, I didn't mean for that right now (cos I had meant I wanted to talk...I knew a spanking woudl come but I wanted to wait until the baby was up in his room....I prolly should have told him that)
Him: Turn around
Me: No. I said no.
and I walked out of the room.
I was in the middle of changing the baby when TJ walked into the living room with that damn thing in his hand. I sat on the couch next to him to feed the baby, and he just sat there holding the damn paddle. He moved a few minutes later to lay on the floor still clutching the DAMN paddle. I finished feeding the baby and took him up to his room.
I weakly called down the stairs "Would you mind putting the clothes in the dryer?"
Him: "Come here,"
Me: I walked half way down the stairs.
Him: "What are you doing?"
Me: "Going to bed,"
Him: "Come here first,"
At this point I had two choices. 1. I could get down there and get spanked or 2. I could run up the stairs and into bed and he probably wouldn't have chased me since all the kids were up there sleeping. But if I had gone with choice 2 he would have seen that as I didn't respect him as HOH, that even though I had asked him for this type of relationship I wasn't willing to live up to my end of. It would have sent him the message that I didn't really mean it or that I only wanted it on my terms. I also realized that running back upstairs would hurt our relationship much more then that paddle was going to hurt my ass. So down the last four steps I went.
Just as I got near him he reached out and grabbed my arm. He pulled me to the couch and directed me to put my hands on the cushion. I think I shook my head because next thing I knew I was over the couch and the paddle was peppering my butt hard. He didn't take time to do a warm up or even to "talk" He just kept bringing that demon of a paddle down on my butt and my sit spot.
"You haven't been this disrespectful in a long time!" he said along with "I will not have you speaking to me like that in my house" and "You sure as hell don't tell me no and walk away!" I don't know how many swats he gave me or how long the spanking lasted but I know it was enough. When he was done I sat back on my heels and was crying. I wasn't crying because my ass hurt (which it DID) but because I had earned it. I had ruined our evening together with my temper. I was all up in arms about him not listening to me, when it was really me who hadn't listened to him.
He gave me all the hugs and kisses I needed and held me while I cried. He made sure I was ok, and then we talked. I explained my view and he explained his view and he also explained that had I not gone off on him we could have had that talk w/out the spanking. He asked me to skip the gym this morning since I wouldn't have the kids I could sleep in. I didn't want to skip my work out so he made me promise to at least take a nap before going to work this afternoon.
It still amazes me how well this works for us. Years ago what took us only about 40 minutes (with the argument and the spanking included) would have been a 2 to 3 hour long fight with hurt feelings. Now, we get past it much quicker. It's dealt with and over and we both went to bed last night happy and loved.
WOW! That was a long post! I'm off to my nap...after I do a few things (LOL)
