...something odd

TJ has arrived home well and happy from his business trip. He was pleased to find all the children happy and safe and a home made "Welcome Home" Banner was hung ever so nicely in the living room (That myself and one of my daughters made...the 3 yr old could not be interrupted from her rock collecting to come color the letters lol)

He made a pit stop at my work on his way home to gather the keys to the van (so he could drive himself home, apparently the cab driver was driving him crazy and he could not bare to spend the last 20 minutes of the ride with him). I ran down from my office and gave him my keys and a long awaited kiss.

The evening was wonderful. We were a family once again. Saturday, too, was great: had t-ball practice the grandparents came over for lunch, it was really nice. Then TJ remembered that when he had used the van the day before he had to stop for gas because I had let it get low. So after the kids were in bed and he was sure I was done checking my emails he asked me to bring him a utensil from the kitchen.

I had hoped he was only kidding when he had mentioned earlier that we would "Talk" about the gas thing later on, but I was wrong. The thing about TJ (good or bad) is that no matter what the rule, there is no excuse for breaking it. He sees a broken rule as a sign of disrespect to him and to our relationship.

So I brought him a wooden spatula and after a short discussion the spanking was underway. For some reason my left butt cheek was particularly tender and I asked him to please stay away from there and he could see that I wasn't trying to get out of the spanking but that the area I was talking about was sore. Then a few strokes later I stood up and said "Wait...I need a second..I'm getting angry,"

"Do you think we should just stop cos your angry?"

"Well, I think that if we continue when I'm angry, I'll only get angrier and then this won't work I think it would be bad," I explained. He agreed but told me that I shouldn't just say stop, I should ask for him to stop and then ask to explain. (agreed)

We finished and he hugged me. He asked why I was getting mad, was it at him, was it at myself, what was going on. I have no answer for it. I dont' really know what was making me mad. It was very odd. I was bending over thinking "All you had to do was put gas in the damn car," and the next thing I knew I was angry. Not at him, not at me...at what? I have no idea.

It passed and the spanking went on and things are fine. He did take a minute to explain to me again that it's ok if I need to stop because of something like that because he agreed spanking me when Im in that mindset isn't going to get either of us anywhere. But that it is not my place to tell him to stop, I am to ask for him to give me a minute.

I still don't know what caused the short bout of anger but the fact that he was willing to let it pass before continuing (And that he did continue) showed me that he is as loving as I thought he was and that he can still be HOH and compassionate at the same time. Also, the fact that he picked up on the whole tell vs ask thing (which I did not until he mentioned it) tells me that perhaps he's not just pretending thes life for me...perhaps I have unlocked something in him that was there this entire time... time will tell..

...as for the tender tush on the left side. I had him look it over for me cos as I explained to him "It wasn't like 'ouch' pain like a harsh spanking gives... it's like the kind of pain that makes me want to punch who ever is inflicting it right in the face kind of pain..." He didn't see anything wrong but thought that maybe our bedroom activities from the nite before might have pulled a muscle or something.. perhaps it was that I hadn't had a spaking in a week? who knows...