Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The waiting

waiting is the hardest part Pictures, Images and Photos
I hate the waiting. I know it's coming, know damn well it is more than deserved, and I hate the dark feeling in the pit of my stomach.

The "I'm not happy about that..we will talk tonight about it," text message following a confessional text only made my heart drop into my stomach.

Shame washed over me when I realized how much what I had done could damage us in any way. Trust was breached. Ugh! A horrible feeling just knowing what I did, then to feel his disappointment! Double UGH! I think the fact that I upset him in such a way is more painful then what is to come this evening.

An assignment was given 1,000 word essay due this weekend. I thought I'd be getting off really easily but then it was told that the assignment was just the beginning and I'd have to wait until he was finished with some work to get the rest. When I had asked "Is the essay it?" (cos I was going to get ready for bed and I didn't want to seem like I was avoiding) he chuckled and said "Oh, no!"

I hate that I'm sitting here waiting to have my bottom spanked and that it's all my fault and I deserve it and I hate that I hurt him. It's a dark night for me, but it will all be over soon. The forgiveness will wash over me and the love will shine through....

1 comment:

Brambleberry Blush said...

At least you realize there is light at the end of the tunnel. The nerves are all part of the experience.

Carly