Friday, March 27, 2009

Double Standards

double standard Pictures, Images and Photos
A discussion on a msg board that I frequent brought this to my mind. Double standards within a DD relationship. My brain says "Well...duh" DD in itself is a double standard. When I act out or do something damaging to myself or our relationship I get spanked. If TJ does something reckless or hurtful he does NOT get a spanking..what better example of a double standard?

We could do the exact same wrong thing and I will get my butt tanned and he won't. That's not to say that he CAN do wrong things all the time. He lives by the same rules he sets because he's an honorable loving husband. If he breaks one (which...really I don't think he really has...) then an apology is given and all is well with the world again (in a perfect world...sometimes there's a yelling match from me and then a spanking..but I'm digressing)

When I asked for DD I didn't ask to be equal. Let me explain this. I AM equally smart. I am equally capable of making rational logical decisions. I am completely equal in the humanity department and rights to love happiness security and all that. I am worth everything he is worth. BUTT, I do NOT have an equal say when it comes to finial decisions.

That IS DD. We discuss the issue (cos I'm just as smart and have a few things I can always add to a conversation) but HE has the final say. There is no vote and majority rule here in our house...or really any DD house I would think.

You can't have DD with an equal partner. 50/50 doesn't work with DD, in my humble opinion. If we have a disagreement about what to do about something and we are 50/50 then the disagreement continues until one of us caves. But we don't have 50/50 we have DD. With DD we can disagree...I give my opinion he gives his and if we can't agree or come to a compromise then his decision is it. (And it's not always his way that he goes..sometimes he'll even go over to my way.)

This goes all the time. You (and I mean me) can't chose when he's HOH and when he's not. How could I expect TJ to be HOH if there are conditions and stipulations?

"You're in charge,"
"Great, thanks. Now about that little tiff you had last night at the party you can't go around smacking people in the head...even if they did deserve it..."
"OH. I'm sorry.. you're in charge...but not of that....I'll decide when to put myself in danger and when not to, thank you very much."

That just doesn't seem right to me. So yes, DD is chalked full of double standards. So what?

3 comments:

Xan Spanking New said...

I love the way you describe the "double standard" of a DD relationship. While the idea of all things being equal sounds good in a marriage, it often doesn't work well. After all, how can two people be in the same leadership position within the family?

All I know is that my husband and i are much happier now that DD is a part of our lives :)

Veggie Chick said...

Who did you smack in the head :) lol!

Measha said...

Travelbug.... if only I had enough courage to smack those that needed smacking! LOL