Backing off

This DD concept is completely natural to me. In the sense that I think about it more often and am more comfortable with it then TJ is. Even after 10 yrs of marriage and 7/8 (or so) years of DD (on and off and on and off) I still sometimes feel like I'm in the drivers seat.

I don't think it's anything he's done or is doing but more my mindset. I have gotten so used to pointing things out to him that I don't think I'm leaving him much room to come up with his own plan. When he does come up with his own plan there's still a bit of tug of war over who's right. When in reality when I asked for DD I asked to be heard, be considered, but that his decision was his decision. I trust him to make the right choice for our family, and if somehow he doesn't then we call it "learning" and we move on.

Even with just the simply act of spanking. I, too often, point out to him "Hey, did you hear what I just said....are you gonna let me get away with that?" (not in those words but you get my meaning). Sometimes, I think he won't act if I don't tell him to. I'm sure he would, in fact he has, just the other day with the cell phone issue. I got into the habit of pointing out when he should spank and now I think I've gotten us into that routine.

It irritates me that after all of this time I'm still fighting him for control I don't want. So, I've come up with a plan. It's simple really. I'm going to do my best to back off. Let him drive for a while without me grabbing the wheel or yelling to turn. I'm just gonna look out the window and enjoy the scenery while he takes us wherever he takes us. Easily said. Let's see how easy it is to practice. I know I've gotten much better then when I first brought this subject up to him, but I know that I could be a lot better too. I complain sometimes that he's not "with it" when it comes to DD but today I'm analyzing myself and I can be doing better. So I'm going to try harder.