Friday, December 26, 2008

Belated Christmas

I was unable to get on the computer the past few days. I should say get to the computer since the table was covered with wrapping paper, tissue paper, Christmas cards, newspapers, boxes, bags, and miscellaneous crap and I could barely even see that my computer was on the table! But I'm getting away from my thoughts... Anyway...So I was unable to wish everyone a Merry Christmas! So.. MERRY CHRISTMAS!! I do hope it was joyous and full of happiness...and of course a spanking or two. WEG.

I did have a wonderful holiday but there was no spanking. TJ and I were too exhausted for a spanking last night as he had promised me but that was OK because like I said I was too tired anyway. But something did happen yesterday that I thought was worth taking a note about.

Every year for the past few years my in laws would give us a check on Christmas and each year I would look at the amount and in my head spend each penny. I would allot an amount for this or that and by the time TJ had even hinted to me what he wanted to do with the money I had it all spent. He would say "I wanna get-" and I would just shake my head at him. But this year...well it was much different.

My mother in law gave us the envelope right before dinner and TJ put it in his pocket right away. Later when we were opening our gifts with the rest of the family I started to think about the money. I stared to divvy it up again. "Ok...we can pay off that card...and now I can put some money aside for.....wait....this isn't my decision!" That thought knocked me off my guard. I thought for a minute about how TJ was going to decide what happened to it. I was going to get to have a say, he would listen to me of course, but that he was going to make the final decision. And it didn't worry me at all.

When we were driving home I mentioned this fact to him. I said "It dawned on me that I don't get to decide what we do with that money," and his reply. "That's right, you don't." and I felt that familiar warmth in my stomach that I feel when he gets all HOH on me. "But we are going to discuss it though, right?" I asked. "Of course..but I decide," he answered and the butterflies went fluttering again.

And it was fine. We talked about it briefly he told me his plans and I made a suggestion, he agreed and it was all worked out. What would probably have caused a tiff (not a full out argument but some negative feelings on his part) before was a simple two minute conversation that left us both feeling fine. Just another thing DD has helped us with, and another way I'm slowly giving over control of this family to him and letting him expand his wings.

On another note. This money thing really has made a big difference in him. The past few weeks he has been so much more confident and more assertive in what he wants done or how he wants things done. He has been loving and has considered me in every decision he has made. All of this has made him happier these past few weeks and has made me feel even more loved and even more confident that I made the best decision ever when I married him and wanted him to be the HOH.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Measha:
That was a beautiful post. You are articulating ideas and feelings that I have also been thinking about these past few weeks. Quoting you "I felt that familiar warmth in my stomach that I feel when he gets all HOH on me." I love that line, and I have been finding that for myself also as I allow myself to let go and let him lead, and express his natural dominance.
Thank you for sharing. It sounds as if you had a wonderful holiday. Wishing you a Peace-filled and Healthy New Year
Andrades Girl