On empty...literally!

I don't know why I can't simply be content when I'm content!

I mean really! Things were moving along splendidly. We have been happy..well except for the whole Blech issue, which is slowly moving away. I've been following the rules without even much effort. We've had some fun and he's even given me a little treat this week because of how happy I've been making him and visa versa.

So what do I do? I muck it up!

I don't know why but I have such a horrid time keeping gas in the van at the level in which he requires it. I just kept saying to myself "Stop tomorrow. The girls are in the car and you have get out cos you're using cash...ugh..just go tomorrow" Well, tomorrow finally came...... today when the gas light went on...with TJ in the van with me.

The light popped on and I started to laugh, cos it was a little funny since I had just reminded myself to go to the gas station...tomorrow. "We need to stop for gas," I smiled at him and he looked over at the console and made a face. I can't even really describe the face...not angry, but not amused... more annoyed I suppose.

So I laughed all the way to gas station while he kept an eye on the gas gauge. "I can get all the way to work on that light! Stop worrying!" I said to him, which did not improve his glare. We were literally 1.5 miles from the gas station, we were going to be just fine.

I pulled into the station, aimed for the pump I wanted, and took my foot off the gas and coasted to the pump exclaiming "OH NO...I don't know if we are gonna make it!" (Insert laughter)

He pulled my hair! Yes...the man actually pulled on my ponytail. Not only that, he then said: "You are pumping!" Because it was raining. I just laughed more. I made a few more smart ass comments about gas pumping. (They were really funny comments, too. TJ even laughed at them)

I went in, paid for the gas and went back to pump it. He came out of the car and offered to finish cos he was going crazy with the kids in the van. (Who were having a 'who can scream the loudest' contest..yes all 3 of them...nice that the girls included the baby)

We had a short chat. Nothing serious, he mentioned that he was looking forward to coming home tonight. Something about it not mattering if I was asleep, he'd just wake me up. The last thing he said before I left him to finish was that he would "Grab the paddle you don't like and go to town on your ass!" which I'm sure the guy at the next pump heard. I just laughed and hopped in the car.

Yes, it was all funny..at the time. Before he left for his evening out he kissed me and looked into my eyes and said "I can't wait to get home!" and slapped my bottom, told me to be good and headed out.

Ok...so maybe I was pushing for a spanking cos I haven't had one in a while. I really dont' want a punishment, though. I know the gas thing is big to him, not to me at all, but to him it is.

Since it's a big issue for him...shouldn't it be a big issue for me? His wants and his rules should be a priority to me. Not just when I want them to be.

Like if he made a rule that I was totally in agreement with I could be on board 100%. I want to be on board with the rule even if I think it's stupid but it's a big thing to him.

I want him to be proud of me again, I want to hear how happy he is with me again. All kidding aside... I want to hear that "good girl" again. (Have I ever mentioned how weak in the knees I get when he says that?) I want to submit to even the dumb things, not just the things I think are important...isn't that the point of being submissive...or at least some part of it?

I think my funk is ending and I just finding a new groove or something. I dont' really know.... He's not going to be home for another 2 hrs or so. I have an urge to watch "Secretary"...so I shall.

...maybe he'll come home and have forgotten. Will that be a good thing or bad?