An example of why it's not abuse....

Some people who are outside of this world we spankos live in look in at us and cry abuse. Because a man "hitting" a woman is abuse... and to a degree I whole heartedly agree. If a man "hits" a woman (without her consent) then yes...he's an SOB and should be hung by his testicals and used as a pinata. HOwever, DD does not fall under that category for a few reasons.

1. Spanking is not "hitting".
2. The woman has consented (most of the time it's her idea) for the spanking.
3. It's done in a loving manner.

Case in point:
Last night I got a spanking. I had one the night before because TJ had thought I needed some stress relief. That spanking didn't go so well and TJ decided I needed more but instead of getting back over his lap I said "No. I dont' need a spanking I'm fine. I'm sorry...but I'm going to bed," and I walked upstairs. After a few minutes of berating myself for not doing what I was told to do and reminding myself of who was supposed to be the boss I headed back down. He then said "No, I'm going to take a shower." and that was that.

That brings us to last night. I proclaimed that I was "ready" and I closed all of the blinds for him. He went about trying to find an implement.
"How about your hand?" I offered with a smile.
"Yes, but I need something else, too" and he found a slotted spoon. Not comfortable with that implement I suggested he test it on his leg which he did. He shook his head and said "Thanks, that just won't do," and put it back (It wasn't strong enough apparently lol)

He finally came into hte livingroom and asked me to bend over, which I did without complaint. He did use his hand but then came this horrible sharp pain. The flexi ruler I just bought!!! I thought I had hidden it! The spanking went on. At one point I yelped and sat up leanign back on my heals. He hugged me, he was standing behind me. Then he asked me to get up. I thougth the spanking was over so I went to him to hug him again.

"Over the arm, please," he pointed to the arm of the couch. I kinda frowned but did what he said. He rubbed my bottom a bit then pulled my nightgown up. He continued to spank with that dreaded ruler. I was sobbing a little and he stopped a few times to rub my back and ask if I was ok.
"Yes, I'm ok," I nodded.
"Then why are you crying?"
"Because if I had just listened to you last night I wouldn't be here right now," I grumbled.
"That's true. But your learning. To think before you act or speak." and then he finished up. The whole thing was really touching. He stopped several times to rub my back (never my bottom or thighs...afterall they were taking the punishment) and kept verifying that I was ok.

If TJ was trying to "beat" me he wouldn't have been concerned at all about my well being during the spanking. He would have completely ignored me, but he didn't. I felt very loved and very cherished. At no point during the evening did I feel beneath him, lowered, or beaten emotionaly or physically.

Someone once said to me "So you prefer teh punitive instead of affection..." as a way to try to understand this whole DD thing. My reply was "No. The spanking is affection." And that is the best way I think I can describe it.

The hugs afterward my spanking were tender and when he took me up to bed he made it very clear that the punishement was over as he pulled my panties off and.....