Keeping him on his toes

Last evening was a normal evening. Dinner was eaten, kitchen cleaned, kids to bed on time and a few sitcoms were watched. (Ok, the sitcoms were not part of our normal evening, but the laughs were a welcomed change)

TJ went to play on his computer and I was sitting on the computer putzing around on mine. After a while I realized nothing fun was going to happen with us and moved on to studying for my class...actually, I was taking a practice quiz and failed miserably, so I'll be doing more studying.

TJ came into the kitchen to fix himself a snack.

"What's wrong?" he asked me with an exasperated tone as he turned the microwave on and I watched.

"Nothing. What do you mean?" I questioned, genuinely suprised by his question and his tone.

"You are moping, like your mad that I didn't plan anything for you tonight." he accused and I was even more confused.

"No, I'm not moping. I was doing my math quiz," I explained. "I mean, sure I was disappointed, you had said we'd be doing something but you aren't feeling good, I know that. I'm not mad."

He looked at me then said nothing. He was thinking and I kept silent.

"It's like you get upset because I'm not entertaining you,"

"What? Did I do or say something that I don't remember?" I asked, thoroughly baffled at this point.

"No," he admitted.

"I'm confused. I mean, yeah I'm a little disappointed that we haven't done anything lately. I mean we had that talk and nothing has happened, aside from sex, since. I haven't had a spanking in nearly 3 months. But I'm not mad, I haven't complained. I was disappointed...but not in you. Kinda like if we planned a movie night but had to cancel...I was looking forward to it but I'm not mad that it didn't happen. I'm trying to just let things happen when they happen...like you said to."

Another look, an odd one I haven't seen before.

"I haven't said anything because making you do something isn't going to work for us. You would probably say no and then I'd be hurt or angry, and it would be like I was still controlling all of this. I figured when you were ready you would do something." I added and he crossed his arms over his chest leaning back against the counter.

"Right." he nodded.

"So, what did I do wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing." he shrugged. "I'm just not used to it. You are doing exactly what I told you to do and I'm not used to it." he answered.

"So, you are concerned because I'm not ranting and raving at you about not doing what I want you to do?"

"Yes!"and we both laughed. He hugged me and shook his head. "I am confused. I had you all figured out and then you go and change on me. Now I have to figure out what to do,"

"You want me not to go with the flow?"

"No, I want you to keep this up. I just didn't expect it," And he kissed me and sent me off to bed as confused as he was before the conversation.


I don't really know what made me settle in more easily to waiting for him to find his groove, but I'm glad that it's working. I'm more relaxed and now that I'm not pushing I think he'll start stepping up a bit more...speaking of which I'm to report to his office in 20 minutes and I haven't begun to get ready for the morning sprint of getting three kids into the minivan by 7:15.