Update

I have been away from my blog for too long. I've been neglectful. Not just to my blog, but my email, my writing, etc... I'll blame it on the holidays for now, and hope it changes after it's all over with next week. Though...being back at work full time isn't exactly helping, either.. oh well. That's not what I want to talk about, so onward...

Last week while I was out shopping I sent a text to TJ that he might want to check my blog. A short while later he sent back a text saying "I agree..wtf is going on?" So...long discussion that night. We came to the conclusion that perhaps we needed to do some non spanking "sessions" regarding discipline (not punishment, there's a difference...and I'm sure you knew that) ....round about way of saying that he has put me in "Training". For the past week at night, after the kids are in bed and I've completed my chores/getting ready for the next day, we've had about an hour of time to dedicate to us.,..or rather me...or him.

During this hour I am not allowed to make a decision and must do everything he says without question, hesitation, or attitude. I am to answer him with smile and simply do what he has requested.

The first night it was simple things: I did the dishes (usually his chore), I gave him a foot rub, folded a load of laundry (instead of letting it go until the next day as planned). The night after that we were short on time because I had worked that evening. He had me take off my pants, but leave my panties on as well as my shirt. It felt oddly silly to be in the living room folding another load of laundry with my pants off. When I was done...he had me do something else...which I may blog about later.

The last night we were able to do this he had me simply sit at his feet while we watched tv. At first, I was a little disappointed that we weren't doing anything else (unless you count the foot rub he got...which he usually gets with or without demanding one...the man has the itchiest feet in the whole world) Just when I had abandoned all hope of anything 'fun' happening, he said:

"Can you hand me that yellow pillow over by rocker," I nodded and went to get up. "Uh, on all fours and use your teeth," My stomach flipped a bit. I kept my eyes down and did as he instructed. Carrying the small pillow back to him between my clenched teeth. He thanked me for it and I took my place back on the floor again. A scant moment later the pillow wizzed by my head as he tossed it out onto the carpet. "Again," was all he said and I took a deep breath, unsure of his intentions, was he going to play fetch with me?? I moved back onto all fours and went and picked up the pillow once again with my teeth (made a mental note to wash the pillow) and brought it back to him, ceremoniously placing it in his lap. He smiled at me and my heart raced.

The show we had been watching was just about over and it was already past my bedtime. "Ok, let's get you up to bed," he flicked off the tv and headed towards the stairs. "No, keep crawling," he corrected me when I moved to stand. I again obeyed him....I crawled all the way up the stairs and to our bed.

He did have me stop half way up the stairs to pull down my pants and....well.....it was a good night!

Do I think we are "fixed" and everything will just be hunkey dorey now? Uh...no...past history has told me that this is still the beginning...and we will stumble and fall and get back up again...again and again... But it's a step in the right direction, if nothing else we've had a great week together!