I'm feeling troubled this evening. I dont' really know how to explain it.
TJ and I had a bit of a tiff today. It was over nothing really and we both just lost our heads. Looking back we both know it was because of how tired we were and how frustrated we both were at the situation that we found ourselves in at the moment. Anyway, the little nothing turned into something and then once the kids went to bed it's back to nothing. Apologies were given, a short talk about the why and how to better the situation and then it was over.
No spanking is pending. And that is where I feel troubled. He has a point, he did lose his temper, too. (If not a bit more then me) He doesn't feel justified in dishing out a spanking when he was just as wrong. I pointed out that I actually started the whole thing with my attitude...none the less. No spanking is pending.
It's not a punishment that I feel I'm missing out on. Although, I think what I did was punishable I understand his point that he did basically the same thing. It's the reconnection. It's the period at the end of the sentence. The physical show of the love he has for me.
The spanking isn't always about punishing the criminal. Sometimes, it's just the eraser over the blackboard. I don't know how else to put it.
There is no spanking pending....and I feel troubled by that.
8 comments:
Dear Measha,
I've enjoyed reading through your posts for my first time. I am refreshed my your honesty. You seem to be very in touch with your feelings. I admire your attitude toward TJ and your marriage. So much of what you write is a place where I've yet to walk so for me it is heartwarming to see where I might find myself. Not so much the physciality but the emotionality. (Although I have to say that several posts gave me butterflies!) It seems like you are trying to be the best person you can be in terms of being a respectful wife. Regarding TJ not spanking I believe he probably needs to sort out his own feelings. He seems quite set in certain aspects (the full tank of gas for example). But regarding grey areas, he seems to be considerate of being fair. He is I'm sure working out his own desires to be in control of his temper. It is hard to be dominate and be human, I'm guessing. I thought it was wonderful that you were encouraging by saying you started it. But he has to work it out first and get back to you. It would be very very difficult for you if he were so completely proactive to spank that you thought he hadn't considered his own responsibilities in the interaction. I personally would not want to make those decisions and find it wise that he wait until he is 100% sure. My best to you in this journey, KayLynn
"Sometimes, it's just the eraser over the blackboard." The was very profound, and I loved it. I agree with KayLynn, I love your blog.
I really agree that spanking isn't always about punishment. In fact it hardly ever is at our house. It's about the connection, the love, the private "us" feeling. And I, too, love the eraser on the blackboard image! Meow
I think sometimes our guys need us to explain these kinds of feelings to them, I agree there is a place for reconnection that is different from punishment, but intense and important.
Sara
FunKay: I agree, I am glad that TJ never just jumps in with a spanking. I did understand his point and I didn't push him because I didn't want him to do something he felt was wrong or made him feel uneasy. And...in reality to spank or not to spank is really his decision. Also, I'm with you..I wouldn't really want his job.
Spanky: Thank you! :-)
Meow: Thank you, as well. "The private us feeling" is a great way of explaining it too. Luckily their are other "private us" moments that work almost as well as the spanking WEG
Sara: Exactly. I did try to explain this all to him last night...but he had other ideas as how to reconnect. ;-)
Meow always says it best and I agree completely. When possible I love daily spankings for all the reasons Meow mentioned. Punishment is rare and I don't enjoy doing it.
Hugs. Lash
"Sometimes, it's just the eraser over the blackboard."I love that, it's so true.I also love your blog!!
Misty
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