The Bed...

I'm working something through my head and I'm going to play it all out right here. Maybe once I've gotten it out of my head I will better understand my own thoughts on the subject.

The other night when TJ wanted to spank me for my "whatever" attitude I was a bit hesitant. Acutally, I was downright defiant at first. I told him it would do no good and I simply did not get into position for him. He won't ever force me into position, I have to accept the punishment being given to me. He stared at me for a few minutes and I could tell he wasn't really sure what to do with me. He was displeased, that much was evident, but he was also unsure.

Finally he threw the belt down and said "Fine. Go to bed. You wont' take your punishment, go to bed. Take the blue blanket with you," he ordered referring the the fleece throw on the couch.

"Why?" I questioned.

He went on to explain that I was not to sleep in the bed. That if I wouldn't be obendient and take my punishment that I would spend the night on the floor. That sleeping in bed with him was not a right but a privilege and since he had every intention of sleeping in bed I was to curl up on the floor.

What the.... ???? you may be asking....yeah...me too. What ball field did that ball come flying out of?!

I just stared at him open mouthed at first. Obviously, if you read my last post, I took my punishment....which really didn't turn out to be a punishment but an open door to a much needed discussion.

Later, that evening once we were in bed together, I asked him if he had really planned on letting me sleep on the floor. He answered that he was fully prepared to let me sleep on the floor.

Here is my issue.
1) A privilege not a right?
2) I doubt I'd ever actually comply with sleeping on the floor..I dont' think...would I?
3) I didn't argue it. I didn't say "No that's not ok" instead I did what I had to do in order for that situation not to happen.

I feel like I'm in some middle world. Not quite in DD country but not in D/s land either... I know...don't label it.

We've had a talk about our limits and such. Things I will NOT do or tolerate and he things he will NOT do or tolerate. This is new territory for me and I could seriously use a GPS or a flipping compass would even help.

post update: I talked with TJ this morning, after this post was sent out (I had it scheduled). He explained that it wasn't the bed that was the issue but him being in it with me. I thought to keep himself away from me was a horrible punishment and that's why we had implemented DD in our marriage to begin with. To keep us from avoiding each other. What he meant was that if I'm not going to take a punishment that we had agreed to then he wouldn't share our bed with me. So...I think I've worked this through.... I think..................