I hate dowel rods. I think they should all be gathered up and burned.

TJ decided to use the damnable thing last night for my punishment. (I didn't pay the cell phone bill again and our phones got shut off for the second month in a row...I assure you I had a good explanation...)

TJ has started to do this thing during a spanking that is way too much for me. He uses my anticipation against me. He will swing his arm back and act as though he is going to deliver the blow and then doesn't, he repeats this action a few times so that I never know when it's going to land. I HATE this because I think it totally screws up my mindset. I'm so focused on what he's doing that I'm not thinking about anything else. And I think it's just kinda mean, there's no purpose to it other than to screw with my head.

Anyway, he was doing this last night and finally I couldn't take it and I hopped out of the way and tried to catch my breath. He got upset and told me to just go to bed "I'm done with you," he said. I apologized and tried to talk to him about it. "How does this work if you pick the punishment," he asked because I was reminding him that he had agreed only to use the dowel rod for a severe punishment. "Get back over there and pull your pants down," he finally said when I asked him if he would finish up.

He grabbed his belt and finished up. I think he gave harder swats to prove his point, but I took them as well as I could, I didn't move out of position.

"This is to remind you who decides when the punishment is over!" he placed a hand on my shoulder and delivered two very hard lashes of the belt across my bare bottom.

I tried to talk to him this morning about the mind games but he just said we didn't have time and we could talk about it tonight.

Here's my dilemma. If I do talk with him about this, is it me controlling the punishment? I mean I don't see any benefit to this 'technique'. It's a HUGE distraction for me and all it does is make me afraid, and what's the point of fear in this setting?