We couldn't be further away from where we were 6mos ago in relation to our DD or D/s or whatever relationship. We spend tons of time together whenever possible, and every second of it has been vanilla...actually a little platonic, too.

There was a glimmer of DD two nights ago but it faded as quickly as it had presented itself. TJ and I were chatting about something (nothing in particular) and I ended up saying "Whatever" when the topic turned to where I didn't want to talk about it anymore (I think we were talking about my schoolwork). "Whatever" used to be a banned word....ages ago. As we finished the conversation he said "And when the kids fall asleep come into my room so you can pay for that 'whatever'"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, not sure I heard what I had heard.
"You know,"
'No, no I don't" I wanted to make sure I wasn't about to humiliate myself yet again.
"I'm going to spank you for that," he said plainly.
"You haven't spanked me in months! You can't just turn the tides that fast,"
"I'm still your husband. When the kids go to bed, I'm going to spank you," I just blushed a bit and left to finish my homework. I was thrilled and a bit scared, it's been along time, it was going to hurt a lot...

When I was finished working, the kids where asleep, I went to his room:
"I'm finished," My words fell into the air.
"Ok, babe. Going to bed?" he asked pleasantly.
"Yup. I'm beat," My heart started to sink.
"Ok, give me a kiss and I'll tuck you in when I come up in a bit," my heart jumped out of my chest and flopped onto the floor before him.

I kissed him and left the room. I couldn't remind him, I couldn't bring myself to say 'uh...spanking' I just couldn't embarrass myself like that again. It's just a script he's trying to read from...I know that....I have to keep reminding myself that or he will surely crush me. It's best to forget all of this but he won't. He insists it can work, that he wants it to work.