One of the classes we attended at camp had to do with living the lifestyle 24/7. The most important thing i walked away with was that everyone has their own version of 24/7. I know that many of you have said the same thing but it stuck a little more this time. I think it sunk in more this time because I could see everyone right in front of me, there was no virtual wall or chat room, we were siting right next to each other talking about real life.
At first we mostly just listened to the other couples talking about finding time to play and how to distinguish between fantasy and reality. I finally spoke up and gave a little background of TJ and i going through the whole roller coaster ride and "it's here to day gone tomorrow" philosophy we seem to be following. Everyone was very supportive and there was another couple there with kids who really seemed to relate to us. The guys had some ideas for TJ and when I described our routine one of the girls said "That's your 24/7" and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I may not kneel and ask permission to get into bed every night, but TJ brings me to bed when he says it's time to go to bed, and he kisses me good night. There may be no "protocol" how i get dinner to the table, but I make his plate for him every time. We have our own little routines that seemed like nothing but now i realize they mean more.
We do have a 24/7 relationship that isn't entirely vanilla. It's not M/s...at least not in the terminology way. I don't call him Master or even Sir (unless the situation requires it) and i seriously doubt he will ever "collar" me, (although I really wish we could have some sort of symbol that maybe only the of two us understands) but we have a dynamic that works and still needs work.... a lot of work.
A few things we've added to our relationship..
-I lay out his clothes for him in the morning, and his pj's at night.
- I am no longer allowed to be intimate with myself without his permission.
- I may have as much water as I like but must ask for permission for anything else (except for coffee in the morning)
I'm starting to be more comfortable with our relationship, and i'm feeling a lot less envious of others...what I have is pretty good.
2 comments:
Good to hear that you are feeling more comfortable with your relationship and are less envious of others.
I beat the drum all the time that there is no standard for this lifestyle. It is what works for each individual couple that counts. Don't worry about what anybody else is doing. Do what fits the needs of you two.
Good luck in your relationship and may you have much happiness together.
FD
I was very happy to read this post from you. We all have to find what works for US....what is uniquely ours. You are on your way!
abby
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