Working on it...Update!

Well, it's been a few weeks since I handed over the checkbook and the bills to TJ....

So far it's been a bit tense for me, knowing that he's making decisions that I wouldn't make. He's doing things his way and not mine, which is driving me to distraction, but overall I think I've handled it well. I haven't yelled or screamed or even had a fit when he's told me that I couldn't get something. He's made a few mistakes but I think he'll learn from them....I hope. (even though if he had done things my way...the mistakes wouldn't have happened...but I digress and I need to breathe...)


The last time he had control over the checkbook he had made a few mistakes and I instantly took it all back. I freaked out and made the decision that he couldn't handle it and I grabbed control from him. This time...I'm going to let this be a learning experience for him. He let the balance get too low, a few things bounced, (I'm taking steady breaths here...staying calm) but he'll learn from this, I have to let him do this for a few reasons.
1. It makes him feel more like HOH if he's actually in charge.
2. The money was getting too stressful for me with having to always chase him around trying to figure out what he was doing with the debit card. and
3. Its really important to him, so that makes it important to me.

So so far nothing crazy has happened. The earth did not open up and swallow me whole. The world has not ended because I am not in total control of this portion of our life together, even with the little bump in the road it has been ok. So far...


OK...That's what I wrote yesterday with the intentions of posting it today....this morning, however, brought about a whole different scene. I completely lost my temper on the phone with TJ and said some horrible things. I thought for sure that I was going to be in for a spanking tonight but that wasn't the case. He felt that part of the problem was his mistake because he had caused the issue in the first place by making the mistake with the money. I countered that just because he makes a mistake doesn't mean that I get to go off the way I did. We talked about the entire issue, how it got out of hand, who's fault it was (both of ours) and in the end I'm off the hook. Sometimes when he lets me off the hook I feel let down, but tonight it's different. I am genuinely sorry for going off on him the way I did. We talked about it and it's all resolved. No hard feelings, no anger, no resentment. And I'm calm. I don't think a spanking would do anything to help this situation or even make it worse. I guess that's a part of DD I didn't think I'd see. Even though he'd totally be in his rights to punish for what I did he's not going to. Partly because he feels he's also to blame and partly because we talked it out and have come to a solution for the original problem. This whole letting control of that check book is getting harder on me. One of the things I ranted about was that I was taking it back from him. Tonight when we were talking I mentioned that I didn't really want it back and his response was. "Oh, you're not getting it back. I'm not giving it up...and that's the end of that," Sometimes even when things go wrong...they end up putting you in the right place!