Working on it

Here's the problem: I'm a control freak! Especially when it comes to money. I want to now where it's coming from, where it's going, and how much is allotted to each part of the budget. This has been a hot button issue with TJ and I. He's stayed out of the money and the budgets because we would only argue about it all. We tried once to have him do the bill paying and such but I was totally not having it. So we reverted back to me handling it all.

However, that was all pre-DD. This week I handed over the check book and the bills. I'm no longer in control of it. That's not to say I don't know how much there is, where it is, or how to get at it, but I'm not the one having the last say on it. I think it is important for everyone to know their financial status. Everyone should know where the money is kept, how much is there, and what's going on with debt and such. I still get to have my say but he makes the final decision.

It's been about 5 days since we changed over "power of the check book" and I'll be honest it's killing me!

We've tried doing the bills together, working 50/50 but just like in our relationship, it doesn't work for us. I don't like the way he handles it and he doesn't agree with my way, so someone has to have the last say and since he's the HOH I figured why not him? But it is not that easy. I know there are bills coming and things that are needed and now I worry: is he budgeting, did he take into account that the preschool bill is coming, did he write that check etc... Today was my first freak out. I had wanted to spend some money on one of the girls (a program at the local park district) and he was telling me that there just wasn't enough to cover the expense right now. I started to ask him about the money. Ok...not "ask" it was more "DEMAND TO KNOW RIGHT NOW" kind of questioning. He told me we'd go over it tonight when he got home from work but I just kept on him. Finally, he hung up on me.

After a few minutes I calmed myself down and called him back. I'm not really sure if there's going to be a "talk" this evening about it but we are going to "calmly" go over the money together. He's upset becuase "it hasn't even been a week yet and...." but I pointed out "I made it this long without freaking out....."

With DD there is so much more to it than spanking. Of course there's plenty of it, but there's more to it. This issue is going to take a lot of patience and a lot of communciation to resolve and come to conclusions that make us both happy. I'm going to have to give up control in an area that's hard for me, and he's going to have to step up to the plate in two ways. One: make responsible decisions that benefit our family in concerns to the family budget. Two: Keep me accountable for my lil freak outs and help me through this transistion period.

This is going to be a difficult thing for us both. But we have both agreed to this lifestyle, we have agreed to work on issues that are easy and hard for us. With both of us on board I don't see how we can fail....